No Willpower. No Ex's. And No Wimps.

I had a tough night last night. I didn't fall asleep until after 1:30 a.m. sometime. Then I was up a couple of times during the night, and finally got up at 6:30 a.m. So I've had minimal sleep again. Why is sleeping so blame hard? Isn't that supposed to be a natural thing? You would think that at some point the body would just give up and sleep on it's own without the mind's consent. I find it hard to believe that it doesn't work that way.

Grrr. The phone was just ringing. Ex again. That's starting to freak me out more than a little. Again, no message. Newsflash: all those reasons that you are "Ex" and not "Current" are still in force.

So then this morning was horrible at work. I was so tired and feeling lower than dirt again. I couldn't get going on my work and couldn't concentrate. I couldn't think. I just wanted to wallow in my miserableness. (Did I just make up a word? It sounds like it should be a word.) To make matters worse while I was enjoying Saturday night under the stars, something was enjoying me. I'm covered in some kind of terrible itchy bites. I was truly pathetic this morning.

And then the very promise I made to myself all weekend and last night just went flying straight out the window. I have no willpower whatsoever. Absolutely none. I go completely stupid. And the bad thing is I really don't care that I have no willpower. I try to care. I tell myself I better start caring, but I really don't so therein lies the problem. (This is one of those things that only makes sense to me, so unless you are me just move along.) And I tell myself over and over I'll do better, but I know when push comes to shove that I won't because I really, really want to have no willpower. I want to give in.

So anyway, MG (from work) and I have decided to start working out together in the afternoons. We joined the fitness center today. We're now each other's reason to get our sorry butts moving (ok my sorry butt, not his). The plan is to start tomorrow immediately after work. I'm so ready. Our motivational slogan is "No Wimps". Nobody wimps out. We're signed up for an entire year, so we better get going.

Tonight, I have to say that I am very sleepy. Maybe the body is winning over the mind tonight?

The music tonight is to die for. Seriously. I am not kidding. Can I just say how much I love and adore Blue Man Group? Ok, I love, love, love, love and adore Blue Man Group. But then they went and added in Mr. Gavin Rossdale. Shut up! This is clearing off the kitchen table music (and I don't mean doing the dishes). You better love it or you can't be my friend.